5 ways to manage your money at school

Here are 5 ways you can manage your money at school

5 ways to manage your money at school  (Africaamplitudes)

How can you manage the money you are given monthly to help you through the month?

It is an entirely different ball game at school. You live an independent life with little or no control because your parents are not there to keep their eyes on you.

It is only the school authority that has limited control over you, which makes it possible for you to do anything without being questioned.

It also means you decide how you spend your money at school which means you are responsible for your own personal finances and financial decisions without your parent's intervention.

So how can you manage your money while at school? Here are 5 ways you can manage your money at school

1. Create a budget

Creating a budget is the most important part of managing your money and funds.

With the monthly allowance given to you by your parent's, you should pen down your estimated expenses for the month.

Working with a budget helps you manage your funds better.  (Pinterest)

It might be difficult to have a regular and particular expense while at school but you could try to be sure what you know you spend money on.

The important things to consider in yourschool budget are your school needs, your daily meal and your personal care items. The rest can come after all the important ones have been sorted. You can also remove the less important ones from your budget.

Work and stick with your budget and also track your budget to improve on it each month.

2. Have a savings

While you are at school, you should make saving a major priority when it comes to your personal finance. Cultivate the good money habit of saving while at school, it would definitely help you when you are out of school.

Instead of having to depend on your parent's for all your needs, your savings would help you cover your personal wants.

3. Separate wants from needs

What are wants and needs and how can you differentiate between the both?

Your needs are more important than your wants.

If you put your wants before your needs then you might have always be in bad financial situations.

Know the difference between your needs and wants.  (Boostradio)

Your needs are the expenses you can't do without and are very important at that exact period but your wants are the expenses you don't need but you desire to get.

Tracking your expenses make it easier for you to differentiate between your needs and wants.

4. Shop smart

While you are at school, make sure you shop smart and find other alternatives when shopping.

An example of shopping smart is buying textbooks. Textbooks are one of the important things in schools which you can't do without and can be quite expensive.

Instead of buying new textbooks, look for a place where old books are sold and buy your textbooks there, it would be far cheaper instead of buying new ones. 

5. Find a job or create a side hustle

If you know how to balance school stress and work stress, you can get a job while at school.

If you can cope with such stress, you can create a side hustle for yourself while at school and do it at your own convenient time.

Find a job or create a side hustle while at school.  (Laniletter)

The good thing about getting a job or having a side hustle is not only the fact that you have extra cash which is added to your monthly allowance but you get to gain some work experience and entrepreneurial skills which would be useful when you are out of school.

How To Stay Positive When Life Isn’t Going According To

“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” — Susan Gale

Reflect on a recent situation that did not turn out as planned. Imagine the details as best you can.

You might have expected a particular outcome or your well-laid plans did not come to pass as expected.

Though frustrating, life doesn’t always go according to plan and you can take comfort in not getting what you want at times.

Let me ask you:

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

Is it for your greatest good or merely a matter of life conspiring against you?

Your answers will indicate your perception of life and how you respond in those situations.

“Wanting life to be other than it is seems to be the most basic form of resistance,” states the American Zen teacher Ezra Bayda in: The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear.

All human suffering is rooted in the need for control.

In his book The Five Things We Cannot Change, author and psychotherapist David Richo affirms: “We do not let go of control; we let go of the belief we have control.”

Determinists and fatalists maintain that a greater force works in the backdrop of our lives, beyond our limited perspective. We are mere puppets in a well-orchestrated drama acting upon us. Whilst we have free will, we have little control once the die is cast.

To take another view, author Dan Millman states in his book Way of The Peaceful Warrior, “…once aim is taken, and the arrow is loosed from the bow, we can only wait in anticipation to see where it may land.”

Control vs Faith

“The rain WILL stop, the night WILL end, and the hurt WILL fade. Hope is never so lost that it can’t be found.” — Mandy Hale

To believe you are in control in an ever-changing universe is illogical and like chasing a stubborn cat. The harder you try, the less likely it is you’ll catch it.

However, by yielding to external forces, you allow life to flow through you. Every experience, thought and emotion becomes an extension of universal intelligence.

Spiritual masters emphasise the difficulty faced by people connecting with their hearts. They believe we are too invested in our thoughts to identify with our core self.

You needn’t be spiritual to co-operate with universal forces, for everything in this world is spiritual. However, aligning with your heart invites you to become acquainted with the silent inner voice, instead of the egoic mind.

“Insights tend to arise as needed, and the next obvious step makes itself known. If not, we simply wait for further guidance. It is the ending of drama and the beginning of a deeper life,” affirms author John Prendergast PhD in In Touch: How to Tune in to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself.

In the West, surrender is met with apathy and vulnerability. It is interpreted to mean inaction when it really means co-operation. It requires letting go how life should unfold and allowing infinite possibilities to emerge.

How could you know the limitless ways the universe can provide for your needs?

To co-operate with life requires faith and trust. Faith that your needs will be met. Trust that they will arrive at the right time.

Once more, how is it possible for a benevolent universe not to look after you? After all, if you’re reading this, you have made it this far given your past choices. You handled every problem, disappointment and dare I say tragedy, and will continue to do so.

Faith is akin to knowing your heart pumps oxygen-rich blood to your organs each day. You needn’t worry it will fail its job or oversupply the arteries. It delivers more blood to your working muscles when you exercise and less when you’re asleep. How does it sense the variation in activity? What is it connected to or receiving instructions from to manage these resources?

I enjoy the passage from author Robert Maurer in One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way: “When life gets scary and difficult, we tend to look for solutions in places where it is easy or at least familiar to do so, and not in the dark, uncomfortable places where real solutions might lie.”

Change and Impermanence

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” — Jim Rohn

Life is replete with change given the law of impermanence. Nothing remains the same, even the cells in your body have a finite lifespan. With this in mind, rest assured that transformation is part of the human condition. Rather than oppose it, work with it. The more you resist what is taking place, the less control you have.

The essence of this principle is portrayed in the passage: “Life is like sand held in your hands. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers…”

Instead of holding on, yield to the forces of life. Go with the flow. This does not imply resignation nor indifference, but detachment.

Practice patience when things don’t go as planned. Do not mistake this for inactivity, but bide your time to allow the pieces of the puzzle to come together.

Universal order sweeps through your life, so trust in this force. A greater plan is unfolding in the backdrop of your life which requires your trust and patience.

Contrast is apparent in all of life and is the framework of the entire universe. Focus on what is going right, however small by allowing it to be the focus of your attention until something better emerges.

I enjoy the quote by author Matt Kahn in his book Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You: “While so many people know that life has a bigger role for each of us, the only way to demonstrate, anchor, embody, and trust in life’s supreme plan is to be totally honest.”

If you are struggling with an unpleasant situation, release the need for a particular outcome. Yield to the forces of life and allow it to take you where it needs to. Create a new path. Try something new, while moving forward towards your goals and plans.

I wish to leave you with a passage from author Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear: “The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”

Within that simple message is the realisation that your struggles, pain and disappointments are calling you to Awaken Your Authentic Self.

Sometimes, the wrong turn will bring you where you need to be, if you are willing to trust in the process of life.

Call To Action

To live a remarkable life, it is vital you take consistent action in spite of your fears and doubts. Download yourFREE COPY of my comprehensive eBook titled: NAVIGATE LIFE and embark upon your journey of greatness today!

12 Things You Need To Let Go Of If You Want To Be Happy

Then one day, when his lies were falling apart, he asked me: “ Why do people treat me the way they do?”. I had the answer to his question, but I knew it wouldn’t do him any good. By then, I’d stopped feeling sorry for him.
At that very moment, I realized that he was crazy. I also realized that happiness wasn’t all that difficult to grasp — all I had to do was walk in the opposite direction, away from him and never look back. All I had to do to be happy was to let go.
All you have to do to be happy is to let go.
1. Let go of the excuses that are keeping you stuck.
Every single day, you’re talking yourself out of taking that first step, or even the next one that will get you to where you want to go.
Why?
Because “maybe tomorrow” . Or “I don’t have the time” . If not, then it’s “I just don’t feel like it”.
With every excuse you make, you lose an opportunity to make your life better and yourself, happier.
2. Let go of your shame.
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails. Everyone hurts others. All of these things inevitably lead us to feel shame around what we’ve done.
But there is one thing that differentiates happy people from the ones who are sad, and it’s this: The ability to reflect on their failures and mistakes, learn from them and move on knowing that they owe themselves and the people around them the opportunity to become better, smarter and less hurtful.
Shame has a place in your life, but it’s not meant to shackle you down.
3. Let go of your fear of growing old.
You’re born, you grow rapidly for the first 20 or so years of your life, and then your body begins to wear out and break down until eventually, you die.
The process of growing old is frightening and filled with uncertainty. Your looks fade, your hair thins, your memory fails, and your body develops illnesses that may or may not be cured, as well as kinks that may or may not be fixed.
But with these trade-offs come immeasurable gifts that make your life and living so valuable: Knowledge, wisdom, experiences, clarity and empathy. This means that the longer you live, and as long as you keep trying to improve, the more you’ll have to offer as a human being.
Aim to stop growing old in fear, and start growing old with grace.
4. Let go of your need to be right all the time.
Happy people know that even though being right can feel satisfying for about 5 seconds, it’s not always the right position to be in.
While aiming to be right with the intention of solving a problem is helpful, wanting to be right no matter what the cost (even when there’s a chance that you’re not) just to stroke your ego rarely is, and it’s important to be able to differentiate between the two. One attitude can help strengthen your relationships and reputation, and the other, erode them.
So the next time you feel tempted to have the last word, consider the consequences of what you’re about to do and then ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right or would I rather be kind?”
5. Let go of waiting for someone else to make you happy.
Waiting for someone to come along and make you happy is like living your entire life stifled in a sealed box, struggling to breathe and hoping that someone will set you free so that you can finally get the oxygen you need to thrive.
The truth is, others can add to your happiness, but no one can make you happy. It’s no one else’s job to make you happy.
Happiness starts with YOU deciding to be happy. It starts with you deciding to do whatever it takes to live a life that’s filled with joy, fulfillment and purpose, whatever it may be. It starts with you deciding to be happy with what you have now .
6. Let go of crappy people.
Happy people know that who they surround themselves with can mean the difference between a joyful life and a miserable one.
The problem with spending time with the complainers, manipulators and unaware is that other than thinking that it’s OK to be like them, you’ll also be allowing them to steal your happiness with their crappy behavior.
Take a good look around you: Who are you spending the most time with and what can you do to spend more of it with people who aren’t bad for you (and others)?
7. Let go of your need to be perfect.
‘Perfect’ is killing your dreams.
It’s stopping you from sharing your ideas. It’s holding you back from taking that first step that will change your body, health and life. Its robbing you of the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone to experience everything life has to offer.
The cure for perfectionism? Just putting one foot in front of the other. Again, and again, and again.
8. Let go of your limiting beliefs.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always fail.”
“I’m not that kind of person.”
Think of all the limiting beliefs that that are forcing you to play small, or not even step into the ring of life at all.
But if you don’t try, and fail, and try again, and then succeed because you didn’t give up, how will you know what you’re capable of?
9. Let go of living like a victim.
It’s easy to let the chaos and unfairness of life swallow you whole, chew you up and spit you out, leaving you feeling jaded, disillusioned and powerless.
But what if you didn’t let it?
What if you got strong from the inside-out so you could stand your ground, and flexible enough to bend when you need to without breaking?
Whenever you start to feel powerless or tempted to play the blame game, remember this: You are NOT the things that happen to you, and others have control over you only if you let them.
10. Let go of eating compulsively to cope with life.
Happy people love to eat, but they also have boundaries with the food in their life.
Yes, they may occasionally go overboard at parties or on a Friday night out with friends, but they know how to recalibrate their relationship with food and find their way back to balance by listening to their body. They also know how to cope with the stresses in their life without using food (or other addictive substances) in a way that harms their body and well-being.
The next time feel like digging into that tub of ice-cream when you’re feeling down, ask yourself this question: “What’s triggering me to eat for comfort and how can I deal with it in a healthier way?“
11. Let go of defining yourself by what you have.
So you have the 6-figure salary, expensive car, penthouse and designer wardrobe, but still…something’s missing.
You’re not happy.
Maybe you need a better, more expensive car. And another house. With a pool. Maybe then, you’ll feel ‘complete’, and you’d finally become the person you always wanted to be. Maybe then, you’ll get the respect you deserve. But one day, as you sit drowning in all the stuff you bought over the years but never use, you realize that wearing all these things as your identity has left you feeling emptier than ever.
What if you could feel happy, whole and free without all this material, mental and emotional clutter in your life? How would you live then?
12. Let go of not being present.
Every second you experience is already gone.
This means that every minute you spend worrying, staring at your phone, being in denial or being ‘away’ from what your body is experiencing is time that’s slipping away without you fully experiencing life and the gift or lesson that comes attached to the moment you’re in. It means missing out the warm smile that came your way, the beautiful sunset happening right in front of you, or the precious realization that something’s not right for you so you can stop wasting your time and move on.
Come back down to earth and choose to be where you are right now for as long as you can, because you won’t be here for long.
If you’re too busy surviving, chances are, you’re not thriving. You’re feeling tired, unhealthy, unmotivated and just plain worn-out from life. I created my FREE Daily Self-Care Ritual Workbook just for busy folks like you who want to take back their health, peace of mind and happiness. Get your very own copy of the workbook HERE . No spam. Just helpful, good-for-you stuff.

14 Things Every Single Woman In Her 30’s Is Tired Of Hearing B

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The number of women marrying in their late 30s and 40s has doubled in the last decade.
However, given some people’s reaction when you tell them you’re single post 35, you’d think we were still living in a time where the average life expectancy was 37 and a half.
Looks of sympathy, comments of concern and ‘constructive’ ideas about how to meet ‘the one’ – If you think going it alone isn’t without its consequences, think again.
Here are 14 comments every single girl in her 30s is tired of hearing.
1. But you’re gorgeous! Why are you single?
Ah, the old favourite.
There’s nothing a smug couple enjoys more than asking single friends why they’re single – with an obligatory ‘You’re so gorgeous! You’re such a catch! What a waste!’ to soften the blow.
Yawn.
2. Have you tried online dating?
Jeez, no, that *never* crossed my mind! Why didn’t I think of that?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (Picture: Getty)
3. Stop looking and you’ll find it
If I had a pound off every 38-year-old who’d met the man of her dreams, sitting on her sofa in a onesie watching Coronation Street with nothing but a cat and a bottle of Shiraz for company, I’d be a very rich woman by now.
Not.
4. Stop being so fussy
Because ‘you’re not getting any younger’ wink, wink.
5. Tick-Tock
Nothing gets a family get-together off to roaring start quite like a conversation with a ‘concerned’ relative about your eggs and the dwindling chance of them being successfully fertilised.
*Adds ‘getting pregnant’ to list of things to do next week*
Because it’s *that* easy.
6. Have you thought about freezing your eggs?
Have you thought about giving me five grand?
7. Get out of those Uggs!
Whilst I recognise that Ugg wearing is not always conducive to hot man dating, there comes a time in every woman’s life when certain things take priority.
It’s November, it’s raining, I’m hungover.
F**k relationships – I choose sheepskin heaven.
8. Tell us one of your hilarious dating stories
And make sure you bring some modeling balloons and a pack of cards.
Because there is nothing a single girl in her 30s loves more than entertaining ‘proper grown-ups’ at dinner parties.
9. You don’t need a plus one, do you?
10. We put you next to Uncle ‘roving-eye’ Ron
Excellent, why would I want to bring the cute guy I’ve been newly dating to your wedding when I could spend the evening being perved at by a 62-year-old man with personal hygiene issues.
And you wonder why I’m single.
11. I envy you
From someone who married before online dating was invented.
LOLZ.
12. It was all couples so I didn’t think you’d want to come
Eh?
13. I’m thinking of starting Oscar on Kumon
Is it a food? Is it a sport? Is it a language?
Here’s a secret. Not only does your child-free, single friend think Kumon is a tropical fruit, Montessori is an area of southern Italy and Gina Ford is a reality TV star from Geordie Shore – but she has no interest in finding out otherwise, either.
14. Maybe you should cut back on your drinking
Because middle-aged booze bloat isn’t going to get you a man!

Nigerian Lady Declares Herself Commisioner Of Slay Queens And Séxiness

Another one – barely 24 hours after a lady on facebook, herself the honorable commissioner for foods and drinks ,a young Nigerian girl who is model and upcoming artiste, Princess Nnochiri, simply known as Ms. Papa9ja, has declared herself as the Commissioner of Slay queens and $exiness.

Does a girl prefer an introvert boy over an extrovert?

It really depends, the thoughts might vary person to person.
(Given the state of our current generation it is fair to clarify that I don't consider flirtatious & creepy guys as extroverts they are people who do not know where to draw a line)
I am an extrovert & my husband is an introvert to many people but not to me, he is a complete opposite of his original personality in front of me. Similar is my brother and these are my two most favourite men in the world. I have friends who are extroverts & some who are introverts. I would prefer an extroverted man to have a conversation with anytime rather than an introverted person with conversations barriers.
It depends from person to person really.
Most of the people, believe that introvert guys have an edge over the extroverts. It is not true.
See, introverts are basically enclosed. They are a mystery, which is fascinating for some girls. They act like a Rubik 's cube. Some girls want to see their depths and are attracted by them. Introverts are generally like a nut, hard from outside but soft from inside.
Whereas on the other side extroverts tend to be active, they participate in every activity. Now here too, some girls are attracted towards them and find them cool. And some consider them as a show off.

A girl will always prefer a good person along with goodness she also wants an all rounder guy so just try to develop yourself from all aspects.
And to your question that a girl prefer an introvert over an extrovert boy so the answer is extroverts are more expressive enthusiastic and also more attractive so if you are an introvert she will take time to know about you so just try to get balance between introvert and extrovert don't be too much conscious about your personal space and also don't be too much expressive just keep a balance between the two

8 Surprising (And Scientifically Proven) Things That Lead To A Lasting Marriage

Finding and keeping a lifelong love can feel like a crapshoot. No matter how madly in love you may be, maintaining a marriage is never easy. And while you may know that sex, trust and compassion are crucial to keeping the flame alive, you may not be clued into some of science’s more surprising findings about what makes a marriage last.

Here are eight unexpected factors that may make for a happy, lasting marriage:

1. Having a cheaper wedding.

You may be tempted to bless your marriage with a fairytale wedding, but according to research fromEmory University, couples who have thriftier celebrations are more likely to stay together. Among female respondents, those with a wedding bill higher than $20,000 divorced at 3.5 times the rate of those with a $5,000-$10,000 wedding bill.

2. Meeting online.

According to a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, couples who meet online have a lower divorce rate and report higher levels of marital satisfaction. Just another reason to brag about finding your spouse through the interwebs!

3. But not living on social media.

Are you Facebooking your way to divorce? According to a 2014 study from Boston Universityand published in Computers in Human Behavior, you just might be. Researchers determined that the use of Facebook and other social networking sites is linked to increased marital dissatisfaction and increased divorce rates. They also found that, among heavy social media users, 32 percent had thought about leaving their significant others, compared to 16 percent of non-social media users.

4. Watching movies together.

According to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,couples who regularly watch movies together stay together. When researchers asked couples to watch films and talk for 30 minutes about the characters’ romantic relationships, they saw divorce rates shrink by half. That’s because conversations about movie characters’ relationships act as safer environments for couples to think and talk critically about their own relationships.

5. Responding to your spouse’s random, distracting comments.

According to psychologist John Gottman, when your partner interrupts your reading to point out a dumb meme on the Internet, they’re not just trying to amuse you — they’re asking for your positive attention. And if you’re constantly responding, “Not now, I’m busy,” you’re hurting your relationship.

After studying these types of interactions between newlywed couples and following up with the couples six years later, Gottman found that still-married couples had paid attention to their partner during these little random interactions nine times out of ten, while couples that divorced had only paid attention to one another three times out of ten.
6. Using the word “we” during arguments.

“I” love “you” is great, but “we” love “us” is better. According to a study from the University of California, Berkeley, couples who use the word “we” and “us” during conflicts were better able to resolve arguments and suffered less stress from those arguments, compared to couples who used words like “I,” “me,” and “you.” The study also found that using individual pronouns was linked to having an unhappy marriage.
7. Putting your partner on a pedestal.

Think your partner walks on water? Hold onto that thought — for life. According to research from the University of Buffalo, viewing your partner with starry eyes may be key in preserving your marital happiness. The study asked 222 couples to rank their partner and themselves on a variety of characteristics several times over the course of three years. Those who over-inflated their partners’ characteristics were more likely to stay blissful in their union.

8. Doing things that you both enjoy.

You may think sharing in leisure time is the most important thing in the world. However, findings published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicate that sharing activities one partner strongly dislikes actually decreases marital happiness. When couples engage in activities both partners enjoy, both their short and long term marital happiness increased. Researchers concluded that it’s less important that the two of you share the same activities than that you both are participating in hobbies that you actually enjoy, whether it’s together or separately

5 Things To Know About Loving The Woman Who

1. She's independent and will always stay true to herself.

It’s likely that she doesn’t often expect or ask for help. She’s stubborn and has strong will. This doesn’t mean every now and then she wouldn’t love a helping hand. The help she is offered is received the best when she knows you’re aware she’s got this. If you don’t like her as she is, she’s okay with that, because she doesn’t need to be validated. She feels strongly about what she believes in.

2. She values honesty.

Lies cause pain and hurt, especially when they are prolonged. She wants the truth in all aspects. How can anyone understand one another if no one is talking or saying what exactly is wrong? Actions speak louder than words, so it won’t take long for her to know if you’re being real with her or not. She will value your opinion even if it’s different from her own. Learning from you is something she is most excited for. She will speak her truth and wants you to do the same! There is always more risk in lying. Honesty is magic, and creates so much more value within the relationship.

3. She doesn't want your money.

She has her own money, her own car, clothes, etc. Whatever she needs she’s been able to get, so she’s not interested in yours. Your money and things don’t impress her mind, as anyone can go out and buy things. She is not with you for financial security. This woman wants you to stimulate her mind. Your time and companionship are some of the things she values most.

4. You'll know she's always there for the right reasons.

She isn’t there because she has nothing better to do with her time, and she’s certainly not there to waste yours or her time. She’s simply there because she wants you -- all of you. She loves getting to spend time with you and get to know you -- little quirks and all the things others don’t get a chance to see. She is let into your life in a different way, and you know each other on a deeper, more spiritual level. You feed her mind and soul. She sees all the value in that. She will give faithfully to the relationship. With this being said, she knows when to walk away. She has a strong, loving, and committed heart, but if she feels unwanted or her love isn’t reciprocated, she will walk away knowing that she deserves more.

How to Be Powerful in Relationship

Many people believe that when they are hurt by their partner, their emotional reaction is the responsibility of their partner. This is a very common misunderstanding, and it is at the root of many relationship problems, leading to chronic dysfunction and to very painful breakups.

I am 100% responsible for my emotional reactions, and my wife, Cindy, is 100% responsible for her physical and verbal actions. If she says or does something that hurts me, she is responsible for her words and actions, but I am responsible for my response, including my emotional reaction.

This is very important to understand. By taking full responsibility for my emotional reactions, I am able to honor my needs, protect my boundaries, take adaptive action, and not project disowned parts of myself onto Cindy. For example, if she says something and it hurts, I am able to say:

1. When you said “You’re always late!”,
2. I imagined that you don’t appreciate how much effort I put into being on time,
3. and because I need to be appreciated by you,
4. I felt sadness.

Whether or not Cindy meant to hurt me in step 1, and whether or not these words would hurt anyone else, the above steps decouple what she said or did from what I can be aware of, advocate for, and learn from in myself. I am then able tease-out what actually happened. I am the only person that can do this, since I am the only one who knows about steps 2, 3, and 4, which all happen inside of me.

By doing this, I am empowering myself to take adaptive action in the relationship, by using the hurt to fully communicate my thoughts, needs, and feelings. In this way, I empower Cindy to learn more about me, and to potentially adapt her behavior so that I get hurt less in the future.

In reality, what usually happens is that Cindy did not intend to hurt me, and that by becoming aware of all these steps, and expressing them, I actually discover that I no longer find her words hurtful; I see them for what they are, which is often a less-than-optimal expression of hurt.

On the other hand, if my wife was actually a malicious narcissist, by following the above pattern I would very quickly discover that she is not interested in my feelings, or thoughts, or needs, and then I could take adaptive action, such as leaving the relationship.

Contrast this with the more common, but less adaptive, way of being in relationship. If I were operating from that frame, I might say instead,

“I’m not always late! You’re so mean and nasty.”

Here, I’m making her responsible for my feelings, my emotional reaction, and for everything else in the interaction. I’m making her the perpetrator and myself the victim. There is nothing else for me to do since I have given away all of my power. I am a helpless victim, and she is responsible for the feelings, thoughts, and needs that are hidden within me.

101 Truth Or Dare Questions To Ask Your Crush (If You Want To Know Who They Really Are)

The couples that play together stay together. And there’s nothing more fun (and revealing) than a game of Truth or Dare. So write these questions/ dares on pieces of paper that go into two separate bowls to draw from, or read from this list in the moment. However you choose to play you’ll bond, be silly, divulge deep secrets, and have a great time. (Drinks optional.) 😋🍻

1. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

2. What’s your biggest regret?

3. What’s the most childish thing you’ve ever done?

4. What’s a bad habit you have?

5. What’s one thing on your bucket list?

6. What’s one thing you would do if you waked up tomorrow as the opposite sex?

7. What’s the last dream you had? Describe.

8. Have you ever shared a toothbrush with anyone?

9. Have you ever told a lie and got caught?

10. What’s one thing you like, and one thing you dislike about yourself?

11. Have you ever peed in a pool?

12. Have you ever done something embarrassing while drunk? Describe.

13. What do you think about while on the toilet?

14. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

15. What are you afraid of?

16. Have you ever sent an inappropriate/embarrassing text to someone? Describe.

17. Have you ever stalked someone on Facebook?

18. Who are you most jealous of and why?

19. What color is your underwear?

20. What do you hate and why?

21.Who/what is someone/something that annoys you?

22. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

23. Have you ever been in love?

24. What’s something in your web browsing history that you’d be embarrassed if someone saw?

25. What would you do with your time if you didn’t have to work?

26. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?

27. What’s one thing you can’t live without?

28. When’s the last time you took a shower?

29. Have you ever lied or done something to get out of trouble?

30. What’s the best purchase you ever made?

31. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done.

32. Have you ever been arrested?

33. What would you do with a million dollars?

34. What do you believe in?

35. Have you ever shared a secret you shouldn’t have, or promised you wouldn’t?

36. What’s something you’re looking forward to and not looking forward to?

37. You’re going #2 in a public bathroom and run out of toilet paper—what do you do?

38. What’s something you think is absolutely disgusting?

39. When was the last time you cried and why?

40. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

41. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

42. What do you value most in your relationships?

43. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?

44. What is your secret vice/guilty pleasure?

45. Have you ever cheated on someone?

46. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

47. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received?

48. What’s the last thing you searched on your phone?

49. Have you ever been so drunk you blacked out?

50. Have you ever peed your pants?

1. Close your eyes, scroll through your contacts list, and text a random person “Look behind you.”

2. Pretend you are a dog until your next turn.

3. Sing the chorus of your favorite song.

4. Let your partner give you a makeover.

5. Put syrup/chocolate syrup/caramel/sugar on a pickle and eat it.

6. Take four random ingredients from your fridge, blend them together, and drink a shot glass worth.

7. Paint your eyebrows with peanut butter.

8. Cut an eye-hole in a piece of cheese/deli meat and put it over your eye. Leave it on your face for the remainder of the game.

9. Hop on one foot until your next turn.

10. Describe your last bathroom experience.

11. Call the nearest drugstore and ask if they sell adult diapers.

12. Draw a dog on your face with lipstick (without looking in the mirror).

13. Go outside and stare at the sky until someone asks you what you’re looking at. Then tell them you saw a UFO.

14. Tag a random person in a post on Facebook.

15. Call the 33rd person on your contact list.

16. Go outside and pick exactly 30 blades of grass with tweezers.

17. Pretend to be a baby until your next turn.

18. Drink chocolate syrup straight from the bottle.

19. Put a bar of soap in your mouth for two minutes.

20. Post a 1,000 word Facebook post for no reason.

21. Sing the ABCs.

22. Eat a raw egg.

23. Pretend to be an animal and act like that animal until the other person guesses what you are.

24. Put on a blindfold and eat whatever your partner chooses for you.

25. Pour mustard in your partner’s hand and lick it off.

26. Kiss your partner’s big toe.

27. Eat a tablespoon of soy sauce.

28. Don’t say a word until you’re next turn.

29. Call a local pet store and ask if they have mosquitos for sale.

30. Go live on Facebook for 8 minutes doing the Macarena.

31. Put a mint in a glass of orange juice and drink it.

32. Call a pizza place and order Chinese.

33. Take an ugly selfie with your partner and make it your profile photo on a social media page.

34. Reveal the contents of your purse/wallet.

35. Go outside holding a leash and start screaming, ‘Has anyone seen my pet alligator?’

36. Close your eyes and let your partner draw on you for three minutes.

37. Knock on your neighbor’s door and ask if you can borrow two marshmallows. Five minutes later, knock on the door and give them back.

38. Order an ice cream cone from a fast food restaurant’s drive thru. When you get the cone, smash it against your forehead.

39. Lick your partner’s palm.

40. Close your eyes and take a shot of alcohol that your partner picks out for you.

41. Peel a potato/banana with your teeth.

42. Take your partner’s socks off and play ‘this little piggy’ with all their toes.

43. Hang your socks from your ears for the rest of the game.

44. Style your hair with three kitchen items (ex: spatula, spoon, bag clip, etc.) Then take a selfie and post it on Instagram.

45. Text a parent/sibling ‘I peed my pants.’

46. Put two drops of the spiciest hot sauce you can find on your tongue. Go a minute without drinking water.

47. Call the nearest grocery store and ask if they sell lactose free ice cream for cats.

48. Go outside and sing the ‘Let It Go’ theme song from Frozen at the top of your lungs.

49. Eat a blade of grass.

50. Twerk/shake your booty for thirty seconds.

51. Brush your partner’s teeth.