What to Do When Your Girlfriend Suddenly Dumps You

Controlling your emotions during a breakup is really important, not only for your recovery moving forward, but also for increasing your chances of winning her back. Keeping your emotions centered isn't easy in this situation, I know, I've been there more than once, but blowing up her phone with emotional text messages won't help. The way you handle things is crucial.

1. Accept the Breakup and Start 'No Contact'

Accepting the fact that your girlfriend's leaving you sucks, but the best thing you can do for yourself in this situation is to respect her decision and immediately stop contacting her any further. Calmly tell her you're really unhappy and disappointed with her decision, but that you accept it. Don't initiate contact with her anymore after that, unless of course you have children together and have no choice, or if you need to make plans to exchange belongings.

Using the 'no contact' strategy is hard to do, but it will make her second guess her decision. I stopped contacting my ex girlfriend after she suddenly broke up with me the day after Christmas. She reached out less than one week later. Going 'no contact' after a breakup is an effective way to win your ex back, but you should use this strategy for personal growth, not out of hope that she'll reach out to you.

2. Spend Time with Close Friends and Family

The last thing you want is to be alone with your anxious thoughts after a tough breakup. After my breakup, I spent the weekend with my best friend. When I returned home at the end of the weekend, I felt so much better. Being around supportive friends and family, who truly understand what you're going through, is very therapeutic. Spend time with someone you know will give you helpful advice and encouragement.

3. Focus on Self-Improvement

While you shouldn't over-analyze mistakes you made in the relationship, it is important to be honest with yourself so you can improve for a future relationship. Sometimes your ex won't tell you the reason they ended the relationship, because they don't want to hurt your feelings anymore, or maybe it had nothing to do with you at all.

One of the best ways to combat stress and anxiety from a breakup is exercise. Use the breakup as a motivator to get into better shape. Exercise helps immensely with stress. You'll sleep better and feel better.

What Not to Do When Your Girlfriend Suddenly Dumps You When your girlfriend breaks up with you, there's really nothing you can do to convince her to change her mind in that moment, but your behavior right after the breakup plays a role in whether or not she'll change her mind later.

Before I jump into what you should do when your girlfriend dumps you out of nowhere, I'll cover what you definitely should not do.

1. Begging and Pleading

If you haven't done this already, you probably feel compelled to send her emotional text messages, begging and pleading for another chance. It's normal to feel the urge to try and repair the situation, but crying and begging after being dumped won't help, especially if you treated her badly in the relationships. 

2. Grand Gestures

Dont send her a hand written letter, a long email, or a gift. She'll be annoyed and stressed by your needy behavior and ignore you, which will only make matters worse for you. She's pulled away from you for a reason and the best thing to do is to leave her alone. The grand gesture doesn't work.

3. Angry Text Messages and Phone Calls

My friend told me once, "nothing good happens when you're angry", and it's true. You're surely feeling angry and disappointed about the breakup, and maybe things got ugly at the end, but it's best to stay calm and not lash out with angry text messages and phone calls. You'll probably end up saying something you regret.

4. Avoid Drinking Alcohol

Alcohol is a depressant that will make you feel worse if you start drinking to cope with the loss. With depressed thoughts and poor judgement, you're far more likely to contact your ex and make things even worse. I would definitely avoid drinking until you've given yourself time to recover from the breakup.

5. Stay Away from Dating Apps

After an emotional breakup, it's important to give yourself time to clear your thoughts before meeting new girls on dating apps again. Dating right after a relationship's ended isn't healthy for you, or for a new girl you might go out with, because you'll still have feelings for your ex.

Grieving over the loss of someone you had an emotional bond with can take several months before you're one hundred percent ready to date again. Obviously everyone handles loss differently, but I would give yourself at least one or two months of personal growth before jumping back into the dating game again.